I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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