How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
