everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am mentally ready for anal.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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