that's an acceptable place to lick
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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