Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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