ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
