I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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