I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
