need another drink. this is the easiest way
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
