once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
