I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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