ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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