dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
