my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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