i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
