She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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