So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
