Please, let me fuck your mom
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize