We named our party play list daddy issues
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
