after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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