what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
