Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
