i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
