Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
