Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
