I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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