Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
