I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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