You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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