I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
