maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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