So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize