i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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