I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
