I want you more than these girls want KFC
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
