i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
