the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
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okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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