we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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