She's JV to your varsity
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
