There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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