the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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