Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
