I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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