If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
