Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
