i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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