god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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