Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
