you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
