ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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