pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
