No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
