I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
one might say we're banned from that church
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
worst night to have a conscience
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
