How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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