I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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