we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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