You're so nebulous sometimes
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
