how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My life is pants optional.
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