1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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