Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
