Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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