it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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