when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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