So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
