i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize